I am the mother of two children who are young adults. They have just both left home which leaves my husband and me starting our new life as Darby and Joan, and has caused me to stop and reflect over the last 23 years as a mother and parent.
I'd admit there have been quite a few times over the years when my husband and I have angsted over how good a job we've done as parents. Neither our kids have ended up in prison so I have always taken comfort in that. But there have been times when I have wondered if I could have done better and asked myself questions like: have I instilled the right morals in the kids?; have I modeled a good work ethic?; what could I have done to help the kids get better marks at school?; why aren't the kids making billions of dollars from their own Facebook company by now?; how can the kids be good global citizens when their bedrooms are like pig stys!!?? And so on...
Then it dawned on me the other day...
My husband and I have done a bloody good job as parents. How do I know?
My children have both left home and moved to new cities and country with little or no support from us...on their own volition...and just got on with things. They have both found jobs and somewhere to stay within a couple of weeks. Neither of them have got much money and certainly no support where they are now living. But they've got drive, motivation, confidence and insight to take a risk and go out and make things work for them.
I have been blessed with two wonderful children who are now making their way in the world. Yes, they're doing it on their own and I am extremely proud of them, but I am going to give my husband and me a little credit for giving them the skills to take this step into adult life. This is how I know I have been a good parent.
How have you measured your performance as a parent? What do you think makes a good parent? How do you get your kids to keep their bedroom tidy!!??