Sunday, July 26, 2009

24 years of married bliss

Today is our 24 years' wedding anniversary.

We met a couple of days before Valentine's Day, 1981. I was a sweet, innocent student nurse and he was...drunk. I chased him around for two weeks until he finally got the hint.

We bought a house together in September 1984 and ten months later got married in the Salisbury Registry Office, England.

My daughter once asked me what the secret was to a happy answer was and still is that you must never think you're going to change your partner. If there are things about him or her that you want to change, then maybe that person is not the person for you. On the other hand, if you can live with that person faults and all, then you're on to a good thing.

What are your tips for a happy and long relationship?


Bill Perry said...


Dr Shock said...

Congratulations, and may amny years follow in good health, kind regards Dr Shock

Sarah Stewart said...

Thanks you very much, Bill and Dr Shock. It's quite an achievement to be married so long these that I am very proud of.

Mark says he's still with me because I've spent all his money so he can't afford to divorce me :)

Terry Neal said...

Congratulations from me too - no wonder you wanted the day off!

I agree accepting each other is one key. I think the other key to a happy marriage - after 26 years! - is being willing to change to be what the other person really wants - which I am aware contradicts the first key ...

I am grateful I found a man who can do both and for whom I can do both.

Sarah Stewart said...

We didn't do any celebrating, Terry - he went to work and I spent the day cleaning the house!

Ironically, I think we have both changed over the years, compromised and adapted, which you have to do. We still annoy each other & we bicker all the time but Mark makes me laugh which is probably another key to a successful marriage.

Mike Bogle said...

Beautiful wedding photos! Congratulations to both of you.

Claire Thompson said...

Congratulations! I love the then and now photos--a handsome couple in both sets :)

Secrets to a happy marriage--in addition to your and Terry's tips I'd add make the time to talk and relax together. Also, if something is bothering you find the right time to talk about it calmly. Now, off to follow my first piece of advice!

kenanddot said...

Congratulations, and what lovely pictures! It was our fourth wedding anniversary on Wednesday - I'm taking note of your wise advice to help us make it through to the 24th...though, like you, I think we already have both changed a bit under each other's influence. One trivial but to me interesting aspect of this is that Irish people never seem to find my accent explicable until I mention I have a kiwi husband. I can't hear it myself.


Sandra Elias said...

Congrats Sarah - wow that's a long time. You looked so innocent, naive and beautiful on your wedding day! Nothing's changed much right?
We celebrated our 10th at the end of June! Marriage is a great thing - lots of challenges and tribulations but accomplishments, joys and achievements along the way too!!!

Pam said...

congratulations, yes I agree with all that you say and could probably say more. Chris and I have been together 10yrs this August, time flies he also says he couldn't afford to divorce me and also threatens to trade me in for a younger version!

Sarah Stewart said...

Thank you all for your very kind comments - I'm sure I can't be old enough to have been married for 24 years - I must have married when I was 8!!

@Mike Thanks Mike. I wondered how we'd go with me being in Oz for 6 months, but we've survived - absence making the heart grow fonder etc

@Claire Another great tip and oh, so true. Its important to have fun because laughing together is good for a relationship, I believe.

@Dot What I cannot believe it possible is I look at my kids & they're the same age as we were when we met - now I am feeling really old!

@Sandra Hey, great to hear from you - we must have a catch-up call on Skype! Your two beautiful boys has got to be one of your achievements! :)

@Pam Marks says the same about a new model...the question is...will the new models have the old codgers!?! :)

classyadele said...

Here's a gem of an advice my mom gave to my husband on our wedding day ( in her mother-of-the-bride speech ):-

"Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, whenever you right, shut up."

classyadele said...

Oh, I should also mention that my parents have been married for 32 years. My dad has a blog too, at

Here's an advice that he gave on maintaining >30 years of marriage (on his Xmas entry) "The climax of the Christmas gift opening ritual and to put some life and fun into our 30 over years of this partnership of living together which civilization calls "marriage" , mind you, many such partnerships have gone desert dry and the partners are living cactus prickling existence. Still many partners are eyeing and peering at greener lawns. Well, yours sincerely always thinks that if you start to see greener lawns elsewhere, it was time you start watering and fertilizing yours. Put some life and fun in your partnership. So, the better half's Christmas present is a sexy lingerie (Hope she can still get into it.) with a red, you can see what..... She was gleefully giggling away like when we were on our first date, years ago!"

Taken from

Sarah Stewart said...

Great advice there from your mum @classyadele :) She's a woman after my own heart!!

As for the sexy lingerie, I would if I could get into it LOL

Sarah Stewart said...

Great advice there from your mum @classyadele :) She's a woman after my own heart!!

As for the sexy lingerie, I would if I could get into it LOL

Sarah Stewart said...

Love your dad's blog @classyadele....great sense of humor!

Sarah Stewart said...

From RSteed:

Hi Sarah,
I loved your wedding pictures! Congrats! I learned about your blog through the healthcare digest listserv on SL. I found your hints for educators helpful and some were similar to ones I have made. Great minds think alike! I own the Center for Cultural Competency in SL. I have a two page word document that I use for SL orientation to my very un-technologically minded students at if you want a copy- be st wishes!
Here are my
Suggestions for Second Life Educators
1. Be prepared to provide instruction by alternative means. The Second Life program is still prone to unexpected inaccessibility and debilitating system lags. For synchronous presentations, instructors should have a back up plan to present learning content asynchronously or through another Web 2.0 tool. Many educational sites in Second Life are available as self-paced learning units, which students can access at another time if system lag or inaccessibility occurs.
2. Network with other educators in Second Life. The Second Life Educators (SLED) wiki ( is a good place to start. The International Society for Technology in Education (ISTE) Second Life site has docents available daily to answer questions and offers free seminars throughout the year.
3. Recognize the interaction limitations inherent in Second Life. Complete online collaboration in Second Life continues to be frustrating when the collaboration task is complex. Solving communication technical problems, particularly voice communication, without guided support may be beyond the capacity of the nontraditional student or adult learner. Text chat and instant messaging is intuitive and reliable on the other hand. For simple interaction and collaborative tasks, this format may be adequate.
4. Support student learning with appropriate pre-training in the Second Life environment. For adult learners with little experience in 3D environments, provide a structured, prearranged environment complete with an avatar. Introduce more complex skills, such as avatar modification and building, after simple skills such as navigation and note card retrieval are mastered.

Thomas C B Chua said...

Very touching blog entry. 2 stay married long, u also have to fall in love over and over again.... with the same woman/man.